


He remains content and very loved

by Swxxt_Angxl



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Johnny taking care of Taeyong is a concept, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Porn with Feelings, Romantic Fluff, Taeyong is cute, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, johnny is whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 05:31:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swxxt_Angxl/pseuds/Swxxt_Angxl
Summary: Taeyong was, to put it simple, beautiful. Johnny can't help but feel happy that such pretty eyes only look at him.Or how Taeyong and Johnny's relationship develop from their first meeting until Johnny proposes.





	He remains content and very loved

**Author's Note:**

> I know I've been missing for so long but exams got me all fucked up and I needed to write some self-indulgent Johnyong fluff so here y'all go.
> 
> This is literally just Johnyong being cute for more than 10K Words LMAO

Taeyong was so breathtakingly beautiful. He was beautiful doing anything, even if it was the simplest and most everyday thing in the world.

He was beautiful when Johnny met him. He still remembers when he saw Taeyong for the first time, that boy with pink hair and glasses who was too absorbed in his books and notes to realize all the people around him. He remembers being too distracted looking at his angelic and perfect face to look where he was going and ending up falling to the ground. He remembers how the people around them startled and went to help him, how Taeyong looked at him with his big, bright as a starry sky eyes and his shy smile accompanied by a little giggle. That giggle was the most precious thing Johnny has ever heard until today.

He remembers how that day he left his cell phone in the library and didn’t notice until he got home. The next day, he returned to ask the librarian if they had seen a phone around. Johnny almost fell to his knees, thanking all the gods when the woman told him that a pink-haired boy had taken it away. She also gave him the number that the boy had left so the owner could contact him. Johnny swears that he could have died of a heart attack right there and then.

He also remembers the first time he heard Taeyong’s voice. When he arrived at his house and dialed the number on his roommate’s phone he felt his heart beat with such force that his ears vibrated. Johnny put a hand to his chest and felt an irregular heartbeat. For the first time in his life he felt anxious, and the seconds that the other boy was slow to answer felt like years. When the annoying beep finally ceased, Johnny swore that his heart stopped beating for a second until he heard a beautiful sound that sounded like the song of a thousand angels especially for him.

“Hello?”

Johnny froze for a moment, not knowing very well what to say. He stuttered a couple of monosyllables, to finally hear that precious giggle once again.

“Are you the guy from the library?”

He still doesn’t understand how he was capable of ignoring his immense surprise to answer a simple “Yes!” with all the illusion that he was able to put.

“I’m glad you called. I was already planning on selling your phone or something” Taeyong said, and he laughed (he **fucking** laughed and it was so cute) in a way that made Johnny forget how to breath for a second. “So, how do you wanna do this?”

Oh, right. He had to recover his phone, he was calling from Jaehyun’s phone right now, wasn’t he? His roommate’s eyes fixed on him from the other side of the room told him he was correct.

Trying to control his nerves as best as he could, Johnny managed to arrange an appointment with Taeyong for the next day, after college classes were finished. In a short time of conversation, Taeyong mentioned that he studied in the same university as him. A nursing degree, to be more exact, while Johnny opted for administration and business management from the beginning.

That appointment on a Friday at two in the afternoon sounded too good to believe it. And even having hung up the phone, just hearing the lively “Goodbye, see you tomorrow!” from Taeyong was enough to provoke a strange feeling on Johnny. As if several flying bugs were circling in his stomach looking for a way out but without finding it. It was annoying for a moment, but over time he realized what it really was: nerves. The sweet but at the same time bitter feeling of waiting until the next day that would get stronger as the hours passed. He smiled and put a hand to his chest, just above the heart. He felt warm, and he didn’t realize that he was blushing until Jaehyun snatched the phone from his hand and pointed it out. Johnny was not ashamed though, as he would have been on another occasion. On the contrary, he smiled even wider and his eyes disappeared turning into crescents while he laughed.

Time went by tortuously slow. While showering, while having dinner, even when he woke up and prepared breakfast before going to class, Johnny felt that time hadn’t advanced a single bit. Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that he kept checking the time over and over again. But he preferred to ignore his own guilt and blame anything and anyone else. He blamed the planets in this case for deciding to line up and turn against him to ruin his life and laugh in his face, as Johnny suffered because of those flying bugs inside his stomach.

When the last class of the day finally ended, Johnny ran out of the building, saying goodbye to his friends with a simple “Bye!”. He didn’t stop by the cafeteria, nor dod he stay chatting with Taeil and Yuta as he always did. He didn’t wait for the bus with Jaehyun or read the notes he had taken during the day on the way home. Today he could afford a little whim and that whim had a name and a surname. His name was Taeyong, and although he didn’t know his last name yet, Johnny was sure it must be as charming as him as a person.

Johnny sat on the bench in front of the fountain of the park, where they had accorded to meet each other. It was relatively early, but after five seconds of waiting the nerves were present once more. More than nerves, it was anxiety. Johnny started bombing his head with questions of the caliber of “Am I in the right place?” or “Are you sure this is the right time and it’s not later?”. He even began to wonder if they had really agreed to meet today and not another day. Sweat began to accumulate on his forehead and Johnny was growing increasingly sure that the identity of the bugs in his stomach was that of wasps. The most annoying and harmful ones that had attacked him so far (and probably will ever).

“You’re Johnny, right?”

The voice that spoke couldn’t be human, Johnny was sure it had to be an angel’s. It was soft like velvet and sweet like honey, it sounded curious and had a sing-along note to it that he really liked. He could spend a whole day, and his entire life if it were humanly possible, listening to that voice speaking to him, telling him stories and singing for him sweet songs from his childhood and the lullabies his mother used to sing for him to fall asleep as a kid. Damn, Johnny would even pay for a fucking audio book of his life narrated by him (and he would pay a lot).

The effect that Taeyong had to make Johnny feel like floating in a cloud by just asking him for his name made him remember just how whipped he was for that perfectly attractive boy.

“Yes!” Johnny responded, and he didn’t know if his voice sounded frightened or extremely nervous, but that’s how it came out and he wasn’t able to control it. “Taeyong, right?”

Ha! As if he didn’t know his name by heart now. Johnny had to remind himself that the thing he had for Taeyong was just a crush on the attractive guy in the library and that he couldn’t be in love with him, at least not for the time being. He needed to know him better.

For all he knew, the boy could be a serial killer and have rotten corpses in the basement of his house… Okay, maybe he had seen too many movies, but the point he was trying to make was that relying on appearances alone was a big no-no… Yes, he could say that as many times as he wanted, but he was not going to listen to his own advice and, as soon as he looked into Taeyong’s big, brown, puppy eyes he felt an arrow pierce through his heart. If it did happen that the boy was a serial killer, Johnny would let him kill him with the condition that he spoke to him and looked at him like that during the whole process.

“Lee Taeyong, at your service whenever you lose your phone” He joked and his laugh totally did it for Johnny. God, the world needed more of those little “Hehe”s.

Johnny got up of his seat and he didn’t know how to greet Taeyong for a moment. After a moment of thinking things through, he decided to just shake his hand before the boy in front of him took him from a madman for taking so long to show reaction.

“Johnny Seo, at your service whenever… whenever”

Johnny took pride in making Taeyong laugh with his stupidity.

Taeyong pulled his phone out of his back pocket and held it out, letting Johnny see the screen. It was now that he remembered that the phone was new, and therefore his forgetful ass forgot to put a password on it. It didn’t matter how much Taeyong may seem like a good boy, he could have read his conversations (curiosity is human after all).

The boy seemed to deduce from his gaze what he was thinking, and gave Johnny the answer that he was waiting for to reassure him.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t read any of your messages, if that’s what you’re worried about”

“Thank God” Johnny whispered softly, grabbing the phone and giving it a kiss to add a little drama. He won a pat in the shoulder from the other boy as a result. When he looks¡ed at him, he saw him smiling. Johnny noted it down on his metal agenda that he had already made Taeyong smile twice today. “Thank you, you just saved my life”

“Oh, stop it! Isn’t this what decent people do?”

“You’d be surprised how many of my friends would sell me for half a sandwich”

Three times. Taeyong was absolutely gorgeous when he smiled, and the fact that he was responsible for his smile made his chest flood with pride. He also had a small dimple in the middle of his left cheek and it was fucking adorable.

“Please, don’t even mention food. I could eat a horse right now”

“Oh?” It took Johnny a moment to process it, but at the moment he decided that he should thank him for the favor, even with something as minimal as this. “You wanna go eat something? I mean...” He tried to find an explanation so that it didn’t look like he was flirting with Taeyong (although that was exactly his intention). “… It’s the least I could do for you after what you’ve done for me”

“I didn’t bring any money” Taeyong shook his head while speaking. “Don’t worry! My house is near”

“I insist” Johnny hesitated for a few seconds about whether he should put his hand in Taeyong’s shoulder while still looking into his eyes, but he finally did. “I’ll invite you. It’s no big deal, really!”

“I’m still not...”

In just a few minutes of conversation, Johnny had realized what kind of person Taeyong was: he was a sweet and attentive boy, but refused to let the people he cared for care for him back. But he was determined to win that argument no matter what and to make the seemingly stubborn Taeyong give his arm to twist. If he managed to do it, he would feel even more proud if it was humanly possible.

“If you really don’t want, then that’s fine. But if you’re saying that just because you feel bad making someone you barely know pay for your food, then I’m still insisting on this”

“You’re way smarter than you looked when you fell that time. You remember? At the library?” As if he could possibly forget that moment (the most embarrassing one he’s ever lived, that’s for sure). “Do you usually read people that easy? Or is it just me?”

“Maybe it’s a special talent of mine” Johnny shruged to maintain a halo of mystery around the subject and not give a clear answer. “We should talk more if you’re that interested in knowing it though. Maybe…” He felt nervous about what he was about to say, but he got rid of the knot in his throat in some mysterious way that he couldn’t decipher and he got the courage to say it. “… While we eat something? Italian, Japanese, Ramen. You pick”

“Do you always flirt like this? Or is it just with me?” Taeyong repeated his question, this time with some changes but the same after all, with his arms crossed over his white button-down shirt and raising an eyebrow while he smirked.

“Depends. Did it work?”

To his surprise, instead of laughing at his face and idiotic smile, Taeyong maintained his seriousness and responded:

“Maybe we should go eat out to find out, prince charming”

And that was how Johnny discovered another couple of things from Taeyong. One, that he had a black hole instead of a stomach. And another, that the way his eyes shone in front of a good plate of food was simply fascinating and beautiful. Even when he ate three plates of noodles with meat and extra cheese in a row and knowing that Johnny would have to pay for all of them from his own pocket. Even when he smeared his mouth with soy sauce and he realized just seconds later and smiled shyly while cleaning himself with a napkin and Johnny’s own plate of noodles with extra spicy sauce remained getting cold in front of him. Johnny just remained dumbfounded admiring each and every one of the expressions of the boy in front of him and noted them down on his list of “Things about Taeyong that are beautiful”.

Two hours later, when Johnny’s wallet was empty and Taeyong had no more money left to spend on food, he apologized for behaving like that. The description about him on Johnny’s mind had slightly changed: Taeyong was someone who found it hard to be pampered by someone, but when he finally gave in, he took advantage of the situation fully. And, because of his happy face, Johnny understood that he liked it when people took care of him. Well, as long as the next time he didn’t leave him out of money, Johnny had no problem with doing it again (He was a college student and needed the money, for fuck’s sake) and seeing Taeyong’s smile once more. It reminded him of the happiness printed on a small child’s face when his father bought him a new toy. It was honestly the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Johnny agreed to go to Taeyong’s house for a cup of coffee. Although he saidit was not necessary many times, Taeyong insisted that it was the least he could do after having used all of Johnny’s money for himself. He understood in what situation he has put the boy before when he started to use the same arguments he had used hours before.

He had to admit that the coffee Taeyong preparedwas the best he had ever tasted. Not too bitter but not too sweet either, with just the right amount of milk and heated for a whole minute in the microwave.

“Wow, this is fantastic! You should teach me your technique!” Johnny remembers to have said.

“Maybe we should see each other another day and I’ll show you”

Johnny almost choked on his coffee upon hearing that phrase.

“Shit, that was smooth” Johnny whispered. He seemed to not have been discreet enough, since Taeyong laughed while sitting in front of him at the kitchen table. His head found support on one of his hands and looked into Johnny’s eyes while the boy was still recomposing from his almost choking.

“Was it?” Taeyong asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer. “To be honest it’s the first time I openly flirt with someone. Not exactly easy if you ask me. I haven’t dated anyone before either, so my experience is… a bit horrible”

“Wait, are you being serious right now?” The question was genuine and so was Johnny’s surprise. For someone so attractive, not having experience with dating sounded hard to believe.

“Yeah, why?”

“It’s just...” Johnny didn’t know how to put it into words, although he didn’t know very well what he wanted to say either. The ideas kept spinning inside his head for a few seconds, trying to put themselves in the right order to form a coherent phrase. But, no matter how hard he tried, none of them sounded good. Finally, he let his spontaneous side take hold of him. “You’re so nice and pretty. I thought at least a few guys had asked you on a date, or at least been interested in you. Like, before me I mean”

“Oh, stop it you!” Taeyong didn’t seem to be faking modesty. The blush covering his cheeks that he tried to cover as he could betrayed that he didn’t expect the compliment, or rather that he didn’t know how to take it. “I’m a man, you know?”

“And what about it? Boys can be pretty too, and you’re a pretty boy so… That”

“You fucking sweet-talker”

From there, the feeling of awkwardness that they previously felt between them started to disappear little by little. Joke after joke, stupid comment after stupid comment and laugh after laugh, Johnny found himself giggling like an idiot and staring at the boy in front of him in a way he didn’t know how to recognize. He felt like spending more time with Taeyong, getting to know him better and sharing more time with him. But above all, he felt something similar to fear. Fear of losing him. Of not getting to know much more than Taeyong’s name and surname. Fear of the boy disappearing from his life after that meeting although both of them have expressed their desire to see each other again.

Johnny repeated in his head that it was impossible for him to have fallen in love in such a short time, that he most likely only wanted to befriend Taeyong. Yeah, it must have been that.

“It’s getting dark outside” Taeyong announced when he got up from the table to leave the dirty cups in the sink. Johnny also looks at the small window in front of the kitchen’s sink and where Taeyong’s eyes are fixed. Yes, the sky is indeed getting dark. “Is your house nearby?”

“Uhm…”

Johnny didn’t know how to tell Taeyong that his house was on the other side of the city and that he had to take the bus to get there. Of course, that would have been easy to solve if he had known where the nearest bus stop was and… Oh, right. Forget it, the last bus had passed twenty minutes ago. Stupid summer time that made him think it was early than it really was.

His silence served as an answer.

“I think not, uh?” Taeyong turned around to look at Johnny, still siting at the kitchen table. “Luckily, I can help you with that”

Johnny didn’t know what the boy meant. When he saw him come out of the kitchen, a thousand and one questions came up in him, and when he saw him come back with something tinkling in his hand, confusion made its way through his body. Until he saw that the noisy object was a keychain with several keys on it. Now he was able to comprehend what he meant: Taeyong was going to take him home in his car.

His hero. His fucking hero.

“You’re lucky I got my driving license last month” Taeyong commented while keeping his keys in the front pocket of his jeans.

“Fucking marry me” Johnny blurted out of nowhere.

Taeyong laughed as if he had just said something stupid.

“Wow, you’re not even going to take me on a date?” Taeyong opened the front door, and the head gesture he made told Johnny he had to leave first. And so he did. After that, he closed the door behind him and continued talking. “How rude of you!”

“Well, excuse me, prince” He lengthened the first letter of the second word in an almost annoying way while rolling his eyes like the sarcastic asshole he was. “Wasn’t it enough for you to spend all my money on ramen?”

“Pics or it didn’t happen”

They stopped in front of the elevator door, and while they waited for it to arrive, Johnny gave the other a playful nudge in the side. Taeyong laughed and took revenge, giving Johnny a pinch in the area of the ribs.

Johnny had lost count of all the times he made Taeyong laugh throughout their “date”, but he really had stopped caring a long while ago. He had known him for less than six hours, but he felt so incredibly comfortable being with Taeyong that it seemed like they had been friends all their lives. As if he had been sharing an apartment with him for two years instead of with Jaehyun. As if they were classmates although they studied completely different careers. Johnny had to slap himself mentally and, for the hundredth time in the whole day, he repeated that he couldn’t have fallen in love. Not in that simple and stupid way. Maybe, at times, he **was** simple and stupid. But he was also smart (He was studying administration, he had to be) so as not to fall in love that easily.

In the car, they fought over which radio channel to listen to, and they spent more time bothering each other by changing the channel that actually listening to the music. He told Taeyong which path he had to follow to get to his apartment (And he must admit that he was scared for a moment where they got lost driving around the city). He had some patience with the first-time driver, and half an hour later, almost at ten o’clock, they had reached their destination. He thanked Taeyong with his best smile for bringing him home, and he brushed it off assuring that it hadn’t been that big of a deal.

He was about to open the passenger’s door to go out and get to his home sweet home, take off those annoying shoes that had been killing him for hours and take a cold shower. But those plans soon disappeared from his head when Taeyong put his hand over his own. The surprise made Johnny turn his head to look at him, and Taeyong’s response was to bring his lips closer to Johnny’s ear and whisper.

“You’re not as intimidating as everyone said you were” Taeyong’s whispering voice causes chills to run down Johnny’s spine, his skin turn like a chicken’s and made him lose his train of thought. “I was kind of afraid of meeting you, for what people had told me and stuff, but now that I know…” He left the phrase in the air, but Johnny was able to understand. “I really like people like you”

That phrase and a kiss on the cheek later, Johnny arrived at his house with a smile stamped on his face like a tattoo, ignoring Jaehyun’s questions about why he was so happy and saying goodbye to him with a simple “Good night, sleep well!” before he locked himself in his room. He buried his head in the pillow and screamed. With a shrill and incredibly annoying voice. He was pretty sure that Jaehyun had heard him from the living room, but he didn’t care. He rejoiced in his happiness and took advantage of every second of it. He didn’t even change into his pajamas to go to sleep, he just closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep in his jeans and shirt. He dreamed of unbelievably sweet and cheesy things that he believes it’s better not to tell anyone to preserve the little dignity he’s have left.

Johnny and Taeyong spent three years of constant flirting. Their friends were aware of their mutual feelings, which both treated as an inner joke that they laughed at all the time. Deep down, they both were too nervous to take the first step, and Yuta and Jaehyun began to get fed up of the situation and put them into compromised moments. The one that led to the confession and the subsequent beginning of the relationship happened a rainy day.

The previous day, Taeyong had stayed the night at Johnny’s apartment, and Jaehyun at his boyfriend’s house. It should have been the perfect situation for a perfect, romantic night confession, home alone and all. Turns out it wasn’t. Johnny was too gentlemanly and he let Taeyong sleep in his bed while he stayed in the couch. Not that Jaehyun was asking them to fuck on his bed, but goddamnit. He had set the perfect scenario for them and they hadn’t taken advantage of it. Stupid Johnny, stupid Taeyong and stupid Yuta for assuring him that his stupid idea would work yes or yes.

The one who ended up having the brilliant idea was his beloved, beautiful, intelligent boyfriend Doyoung who, unlike Yuta, actually had some brains to him.

Following his plan, Jaehyun phoned Johnny and told him about Doyoung’s idea of going to have lunch and watch a movie to their favorite shopping center. It was quite far from their shared apartment and he knew it. He also knew that it was a holiday, the buses didn’t have their normal schedule and Johnny still didn’t have his driving license. Taeyong did, but his car was in repair. It was as if all the planets had aligned in his favor, and at the moment he started to wonder why he even trusted that Yuta’s plan would work having that series of wonderful coincidences right in front of their noses. It was so ridiculously simple that it didn’t even cross their minds.

So their only real option was to go that long way walking to the shopping center. The heavy rain that surprised the couple halfway wasn’t part of the original plan, but that bonus didn’t displease Jaehyun to be honest. If anything, it just made the setting more romantic and movie-like.

Johnny didn’t expect Taeyong to be the type to run under the rain laughing in amusement instead of being surprised by the sudden fall of water. But fuck if he didn’t love that side of Taeyong. When he ran away and turned around when he already took some distance, looking at Johnny with his eyes almost disappearing because of his smile. His recently dyed black hair was starting to get wet and his shirt was sticking to his body, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Come here! What are you? Chicken?”

“What did you call me?” Johnny arched an eyebrow. He had heard perfectly fine, but the way Taeyong’s voice sounded, almost like an excited little kid in a toy store, was too much to ignore.

“I said you’re a chicken! Come on, it’s just some water!”

And that was what it took for Johnny to run after Taeyong, catching up shortly and attacking him by sticking his arms around his thin waist, lifting him up and earning a scream from the other in surprise of seeing his feet off the ground. Taeyong buried his fingers in the other’s wet hair and it tickled his nose, making him laugh.

“Your hair is a complete mess”

“You’re one to talk” Johnny looked up at Taeyong with soft, honey eyes, almost puppy-like.

The droplets of water sliding down his face, falling down his neck until they got lost on his chest. His slender hands playing with his hair, threatening to pull at it but not being bratty enough to do so. The playful smile that formed on his thin lips and the way the tips of his ears turned red when Johnny’s hands drew circles on the small of his back. His dark eyes that he sometimes called simple and ugly, but that to Johnny were like black pearls that shone like a thousand stars. The way he lowered his head to put their foreheads together and closed his eyes to avoid looking at him face to face, because if he did he was sure that his cheeks would acquire the same reddish tone as his ears. The way his breathing was shaking little by little because of the closeness and Johnny could feel both their hearts beating as if they were going to come out of their chests. They way Johnny could see his lips tremble and his breath mix with his own. How his long lashes caressed his cheeks just before lifting his eyelids, leaving his eyes uncovered again. How his eyes looked directly at Johnny with a thousand and one mixed emotions. Expectant, enraptured, a little bit embarrassed. Almost in love, he could say.

Johnny swallowed hard before asking something that could possibly ruin their friendship if he had really gotten the wrong idea in his head.

“Tae, can I...?”

He didn’t finish. He couldn’t. Taeyong interrupted him.

“Please” His desperate, needy voice reached Johnny’s ears sounding like the best music he had ever heard.

And he kissed Taeyong. There, in the rain, with their clothes and hair made a total mess and his arms somewhat tired for carrying Taeyong for so long. They were a bit clumsy, being first-timers and all. Their noses clashed a couple of times, Johnny bit Taeyong’s lip unintentionally a little harder than expected, and when they separated after a while he found a black hair from the other boy in his mouth. But it still felt perfect, almost like a dream. They ended up laughing like idiots, walking the rest of the way holding hands and arriving to their appointment with Doyoung and Jaehyun half an hour later than planned. Luckily, before one of the two could start scolding them (Although they certainly didn’t seem angry for some reason) both turned their eyes to their intertwined hands. The reaction of their couple of friends was a noisy and victorious “Fucking finally!” from Johnny’s roommate and an applause accompanied by a “Congratulations! About time you got some” from Doyoung.

Taeyong looked beautiful in any situation. Driving, concentrating on the road more than anything else around him, under the rain, behaving like an excited little boy who had fun playing in the rain without caring about the fact that he could get a cold.

The only time Taeyong didn’t look beautiful was when he was having one of his “Bad Days”. In those days he didn’t smile, he didn’t laugh no matter how hard Johnny tried, he hardly spoke or even ate, it was very rare for him to have the energy or motivation to get out of the bed or to do something productive during the day. In others, he simply focused too much on working and too little on taking care of himself. When those days happened, it was total hell for both of them. For Taeyong because he couldn’t do anything, nor find reasons to feel useful, wanted or needed by anyone. And for Johnny because he couldn’t make his boyfriend realize just how perfect, wonderful and beautiful he was.

After spending a handful of bad days with Taeyong, Johnny decided to do something to help his boyfriend, even if it was minimally. He couldn’t just sit idly by and wait for him to get himself together on his own, without any help. He needed help. **His** help, to be more exact.

Taeyong was sitting in front of his computer, typing non stop in one of his multiple work documents for the university classes. Johnny didn’t know to what extent that thing he thought about would work, but he supposed trying wouldn’t do any harm and he was decided to help. So he went next to him and caught his attention hitting his shoulder gently. Once he managed to make him raise his eyes from the screen to look at him (hard task where there are), he spoke in a calm and serene voice.

“Can you get up?”

“Johnny, I really can’t right...”

“Please”

“… Okay”

Well, that was easier than he expected. Taeyong got up from his chair and looked at Johnny with a face of not understanding anything. He understood even less when his boyfriend wrapped his arms around his body in a tight and warm embrace. He didn’t correspond the hug, he just grabbed Johnny’s shirt with his little hands as best as he could and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. It made him feel safe, protected, at home. His arms started to shake and Johnny knew what that meant: he was going to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay baby, I’m here” He started saying. He took one of his hands to the other’s swan neck and went up to his face, caressing his jaw. “Can you relax your muscles for me? You’re so tense”

It was being so easy for Taeyong to obey him, perhaps because deep down he knew that he also needed that kind of treatment and wanted to indulge himself fully.

His facial muscles relaxed, he stopped frowning and Johnny no longer could notice the veins in his neck so prominent that he became afraid that a simple paper cut would kill his boyfriend. A drop hit the skin of Johnny’s neck and there was when he knew Taeyong had started to cry.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You always work so hard, but there’s a limit and you’re going to cross it if you keep up” Johnny explained. “You understand?”

“Yeah… I’m so-sorry” He sobbed. Johnny kissed the top of his head, his chest sinking with pity for the tone Taeyong had used.

“Why are you sorry, baby? There’s nothing to be sorry about”

“I… I made you worry. You shouldn’t have… to worry for someone like me” And Johnny swore his heart nearly broke at that.

“What do you mean someone like you?” He asked, looking fondly at his boyfriend.

“… Bad. Stupid. Not good enough… Ugly”

The grip Johnny had on his boyfriend’s body grew stronger with each derogatory term he used for himself. Once Taeyong was quiet, or rather when he didn’t seem to find more insults, Johnny thought carefully about his next move. Finally, he talked.

“Go to the bedroom. Get undressed and wait”

His eyes full of tears looked up at Johnny with pure confusion. Then Taeyong nodded and he watched how he went to the room they shared now, in his couple flat, without any unexpected mishap. Once he had disappeared from his view, Johnny went to the kitchen and filled a glass with milk, added sugar and honey and heated the mixture in the microwave. He knew that his boyfriend liked sweet things more than it should be considered healthy, and drinking hot drinks usually helped people fall asleep. It was a double win.

He went back to the room with the hot cup in his hands. It burnt, but he didn’t care. When he entered the room they shared and saw Taeyong on the bed, totally naked except for his underwear like Johnny had requested, looking at his feet that gave small kicks, he felt almost melting from cuteness. Johnny set the cup on the nightstand next to the bed. He stood in front of Taeyong and put his warm hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders. He looked up at Johnny with puppy eyes.

“Did you take a shower today?” Johnny felt Taeyong’s head shaking against his chest. “We’ll have to put a solution to that then”

Taeyong whined from the bottom of his throat, and although it broke Johnny’s heart to leave his poor boyfriend like that, it wasn’t like he was going to leave the room. He just approached the closet and took an oversized sweater of his, a pastel blue one that Taeyong always stole from him in winter when he was cold because it smelt like him, and a pair of sweatpants.

“Can you pick some underwear and socks, babe?” Johnny asked with the sweetest, calmest voice he could find in himself. He didn’t want to overwhelm Taeyong with questions, but he was sure that he could fulfill a simple request like that.

Taeyong obeyed, and this submissive side of his boyfriend was something strange and totally new to Johnny, but it was also something he knew Taeyong needed from time to time. To let someone take complete control of everything, guide him and make him feel protected, to make him forget about everything for a while and just let him relax. It almost felt like he was taking care of a small child. An adorable one, because his boyfriend was adorable. It didn’t take long for him to change his mind and start thinking that the submissive side was fucking cute. Johnny also needed to feel useful from time to time, able to take care of someone. He could say that they complemented each other in that sense, apart from many others.

Taeyong gave him the clothes he had asked for, and Johnny rewarded him with a kiss on the forehead.

“I’m so proud of you” Johnny whispered against his hair. “Good boy”

After hearing those words, Taeyong wrapped around Johnny’s neck and buried his head in the crook. He breathed his boyfriend’s scent deeply once more; Johnny smelt like coffee and something similar to new books. It may sound strange, but that smell always seemed to calm Taeyong down, almost putting him to sleep.

Somehow, Johnny managed to carry both, his boyfriend and the clean clothes they had chosen to the bathroom built into the room (God bless they had enough money to afford an apartment like that). Then he made the necessary preparations, such as turning on the heater so that Taeyong wouldn’t get cold when he got out of the shower, taking out a clean fluffy towel and get the water running.

“You think you can shower on you own or do you need some help?” Taeyong seemed to meditate the answer for a few seconds until he responded that he could do it on his own.

Johnny kissed Taeyong in the forehead again and asked him to please shout at him if he needed help with whatever. He nodded in agreement that he understood before Johnny left the bathroom, closing the door behind him and proceeding to go to the bedroom. Yes, the bed was made, but they hadn’t changed the sheets in so long that he took advantage of the impromptu session of self-care to do so. After five minutes he had put fresh, clean sheets that smelled like that rose softener that both of them liked so much. Lastly, he grabbed some chocolate to accompany the milk with honey.

If he was going to spoil Taeyong, then he would do it the right way.

Before he could grab his laptop to start searching online for one of Taeyong’s favorite movies, his boyfriend called out from the bathroom.

“Coming!”

When he arrived, he found Taeyong standing in front of the heater, wrapped in the towel like a burrito and shaking a bit. He kind of felt the need to say “Awww” out loud, but he kept himself together as he could. Taeyong looked embarrassed, and he opened his mouth several times to ask something. By the way he looked alternately at the clothing and at Johnny, he could understand without a word: Taeyong wanted him to help him get dressed. If that wasn’t adorable, Johnny didn’t know what was.

“Of course, sweetheart” Johnny spoke, looking at his partner with loving and understanding eyes.

Taeyong looked even smaller if it was possible wearing the clothes of the giant he had for a boyfriend. The way he clung to Johnny’s broad shoulders as if his life depended on it, the way he giggled when Johnny ruffled his wet hair with the towel to dry it and how he grabbed Johnny’s shirt and pulled on it to make his boyfriend carry him to the bedroom. All those details made Johnny’s heart melt, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to not coo at that angel he had for a boyfriend.

Once in the room, he wrapped Taeyong with his favorite blanket while he drank his glass of milk and gave him another kiss on the forehead. That feeling of vibrant warmth inside his chest was identified as adoration. For his boyfriend, for each and every one of his facets, and this one was no exception. And what if Taeyong was acting like a little boy right now? He was equally adorable, and Johnny had always loved children and taking care of them. He loved children, he loved his boyfriend, so what was wrong with that? He’d take care of him forever if he needed to.

“Can I?” Taeyong asked, pointing to the ounces of chocolate in the nightstand. Johnny couldn’t help but smile, sit next to him in the bed and start feeding his boyfriend little by little.

Johnny told him to chew slowly, not wanting him to choke and encouraged him to keep drinking the milk. Taeyong obeyed once again, and that position of power that he had given to Johnny made him feel tremendously proud. Taeyong is grating him his submission and Johnny wanted to treasure it at all cost.

“Baby” Johnny called in a sweet voice, while Taeyong rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and made tired sounds from the bottom of his throat. “Wanna see your favorite movie?”

Taeyong looked up with his tired little eyes and moved his head affirmatively. So Johnny grabbed his laptop from the end of the bed where he left it, lied down and let Taeyong lie on his chest, blanket and all. At a certain moment, Johnny noticed that he had put the blanket in his mouth, but didn’t give it much importance. It was adorable.

Among the selection of films that he knew Taeyong loved (And Johnny had put them in favorites because they watched them more than it should be legal), he picked Spirited Away. Taeyong was quite a fan of anime, and a lot of his favorite movies were from Studio Ghibli. Johnny, not so secretly, loved when he got excited while talking about them and started to babble non stop. It was because of him that he had gotten fond of anime in the first place.

“I love you” Taeyong whispered. He had removed the blanket from his mouth, drooling on Johnny’s shirt a little, but again he didn’t care. He just stared at Taeyong, ignoring the screen passing the movie for a moment to contemplate his boyfriend. He looked relaxed, and when Lee Taeyong relaxed he looked like a completely different person. He smiled like a little boy to whom his mother had bought some candy, his eyes filled with innocence and tenderness and didn’t look like his real age. It could seem like just one more side of him, but there was nothing Johnny loved more than seeing his boyfriend laid-back, beautiful and content.

Taeyong fell asleep more or less in the middle of the movie. Then, Johnny pushed the computer away, closing it, and crawled under the sheets with him. He tried to removed the blanket his boyfriend was wrapped in, but it was an impossible task. He had it held so tightly and looked so peaceful that Johnny didn’t have the heart to do so.

They fell asleep like that, Taeyong curled into a small ball and Johnny wrapping his arms around him, lips buried on his hair.

Taeyong looked absolutely beautiful the morning after, hair totally messy, sunbeams caressing his face as they crossed the curtains, soft eyes looking up at Johnny as he whispered “Good morning” and kissed him. And, even with his horrible morning breath, it felt perfect, magical even.

Taeyong also looked beautiful when they did it for the first time. When Johnny stamped him against the wall without much care and apologized seconds later, breathless, a trickle of saliva falling from his lips. Just before Taeyong kissed him again to shut him up before he kept talking, with his hands clinging to Johnny’s back and without separating more than a couple of centimeters. Neither of them understood how a simple kiss became something else or how they made it all the way to the bedroom. Taeyong’s hands went up to Johnny’s hair and grabbed it with force, making him moan in his mouth. Very few people had managed to make Johnny feel so affected in such a short time and with so little physical contact. Then Taeyong pulled his head back by the hair, and he went directly to attack his neck, biting, licking and sucking, leaving a few red marks that would definitely be visible the next day.

That dominant side of his was also one of Johnny’s personal favorites.

He wasn’t expecting to be thrown in the bed, and the first thing he saw when he got up was his boyfriend taking off his shirt, leaving his completely intact chest exposed. Johnny wet his lips with need. He wanted to use it as a canvas, paint it with the prettiest colors, red and purple, decorate it with suction marks and some bites.

“I’m seriously so in love with you” He talked without thinking much, and Taeyong laughed and approached him. Everything about his boyfriend screamed sensuality, and it didn’t fit at all with the mental image of a cute Taeyong who was laughing at a sitcom on TV barely five minutes ago. “Like, so much”

Johnny almost completely lost his breath when Taeyong placed his warm hand on his torso, descending tortuously slow to his waist. Then he caressed the hip bone with his thumb and brought his face close to Johnny’s again. Face to face, nose to nose and lips separated by very little space. Fuck. This was hotter and more erotic than Johnny had ever anticipated.

“Does small Johnny wanna come visit me?” Taeyong spoke jokingly.

“Small?” He raised an eyebrow, like asking if it was a challenge.

“Don’t worry, big boy, I’ve seen enough on the shower all those times”

Johnny wanted to laugh, but it got stuck on his throat the moment Taeyong’s hand reached his crotch. It was almost embarrassing that he was so hard in such a short time, but the kisses his boyfriend laid on his cheek distracted him from those thoughts. So many sensations at the same time were driving him crazy, his head was spinning and he lost the notion of time, almost forgetting where he was. Taeyong continued to massage his dick and fuck, it felt really fucking good even with all the fabric in the way.

All the times he had masturbated thinking about that moment couldn’t compare with the real thing.

“If you keep this up I’m really gonna come in my pants” He warned, but Taeyong didn’t seem to care since Johnny heard a giggle right next to his ear. “I need to take care of you as well”

“I think I have an idea for that” And Taeyong punctuated the last word with a bite to Johnny’s ear.

“Fuck, just let me touch you” Johnny protested.

Obviously, it wasn’t going to be that easy. Especially not with someone as stubborn as him.

The idea he had didn’t seem that much of a big deal until Taeyong put their clothed crotches together and rolled his hips. Fucking dancer hips, Johnny cursed. Having a dancer boyfriend like Taeyong, handsome, desired and flexible, was both, a blessing and a curse. The little common sense that was left in his head left him and Johnny just let himself go, let Taeyong keep going and grabbed his ass with force.

“Baby, baby… Oh my God, babe, fuck, so good. Keep going” He said those phrases and some similar ones without realizing it. They just ran from his mouth and he couldn’t control it.

Johnny just felt like a hormonal teenager who was just experiencing pleasure for the first time. And in a way he was. He had had sex with several people, both women and men, he was far from being a virgin, but it was the first time he waited for so long, a year, to get intimate with someone. Taeyong was different. He was far from being one-dimensional, boring and hollow of mind like all the other people he had had one night stands with. He wasn’t just free and fast pleasure. He was someone with whom Johnny could laugh, trust his feelings and secrets, have a deep conversation like the ones they had had a lot of times. He could keep staring at Taeyong for months and still continue without getting tired and he would be able to discover new small details in his beauty that would make him fall in love with Taeyong even more.

They didn’t know how much time they spent like that, Johnny just came back to his senses when he shouted Taeyong’s name and came in his pants like an inexperienced teenager. No one had ever provoked that feeling on Johnny Seo, it was almost shameful how little he lasted. But far from being ashamed, Johnny felt happy. Taeyong fell on top of him, his small body fitting perfectly with his boyfriend’s.

That night they also made love the right way. Johnny appreciated having been prepared enough, having a box of condoms and strawberry flavored lube stored in the drawer of the nightstand for months now (He admitted he had almost forgotten about them). Taeyong rode him, Johnny couldn’t keep his hands to himself and kept caressing his boyfriend’s long, well-formed legs, climbing up to his sides and drawing circles on his hips. He wasn’t expecting his boyfriend to be quite a vocal person in bed, but he was, and it was a rather pleasant surprise.

Two in the morning arrived and it wasn’t until then that they had finished their “session”. They were sweaty and disgusting, and being Taeyong a complete clean freak, he insisted that they should go shower even though Johnny was completely exhausted and just wanted to sleep cuddling with his boyfriend, he had no option. He wouldn’t leave him alone until he got out of the bed.

Nothing unusual happened in the shower. They threw water to their faces, slapped each other’s butts when one of them bend down to pick up the soap, and Johnny washed Taeyong’s hair as usual. When they got out they brushed their teeth together, Taeyong stole one of Johnny’s favorite oversized hoodies, and he just laughed because he found that so adorable. They couldn’t sleep yet though, because Taeyong wouldn’t stay quiet until they changed the dirty sheets.

As soon as Johnny’s back hit the mattress, the clean sheets that smelt like fabric softener and a soft pillow under his head, he felt like he could fall asleep by just closing his eyes. And he would have done it had it not been for Taeyong poking him gently on the shoulder.

“Yes?”

“I… I’m sorry if I was too much”

And there was when Johnny got up and put their faces together once more. He had became so used to breathing the same air in such a small space.

“I don’t care if you are too much. I liked it, in fact” He smiled, and Taeyong got infected by his smile. “You taking over was actually kind of hot. I take care of you a lot and I love it, because it’s you. Why wouldn’t I like you taking care of me? It’s still you. It’s the same cute boy from the library, the one I love” He caressed the other’s cheek while he spoke. “Even if he used all my money to buy food”

Taeyong hit his boyfriend in the chest playfully upon hearing that.

“Idiot”

“Your idiot” And he kissed Taeyong’s nose. It was obvious he couldn’t fake his anger for a longer time. “My point is: be too much if you need to. If you want to call me five times while I’m at work because you miss me, do it. Ask me how was my day every day when I get home. Cling to me whenever you want. Kiss me whenever you want”

“But what if you don’t want to?”

“I’ll warn you. You can just lay your forehead on mine, like this” And to prove his point, Johnny relocated until their noses seemed to be fighting with each other. “And I’ll kiss you if I want. If I don’t, then just kiss me on the cheek. I have no problem with affection, Yonggie”

“Are you, like, sure about it? Totally sure?”

Taeyong’s doubt is making Johnny think that maybe there’s something else there. Maybe a bad past experience or something like that.

“Yonggie, baby” Johnny put one of his hands in Taeyong’s shoulder. “Is there a reason why you’re worrying this much about the whole affection thing? It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it”

“No, I...” It took a few seconds to find the right words. “My ex was a jerk. Said I was too clingy and he left me because of it. He said very mean things to me, shamed me whenever I asked for a kiss. Said I was too needy”

“Ex? Didn’t you tell me you didn’t have any experience with relationships when we first hung out?” Johnny was genuinely confused, and he didn’t understand why Taeyong had lied to him about that.

Taeyong shook his head in response.

“I didn’t consider it a real relationship. We just met one night and… Well, you know. I was dumb and believed him when he told me he loved me. Perfect fucking fairy tale, uh? He disappeared for weeks straight, left me alone and then came back whenever he wanted. I don’t even think it could be considered dating”

The explanation had left Johnny speechless. He didn’t want to ask the question wandering through his head, but he needed to do it. So he grabbed Taeyong’s hand to give him a feeling of comfort and warmth. Then he spoke.

“Yonggie, can I ask you something?” Taeyong nodded. “How old were you when that happened?”

“Maybe… Sixteen? I don’t really remember how old he was, but he was older than me for sure”

“Oh, sweetheart” Johnny didn’t know what else to do except embrace him. That asshole had taken advantage of him, of his precious Lee Taeyong, of the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, baby. You have me here for everything, you know it, right?” He felt like he was talking too much, but he couldn’t keep it to himself. Not now that he knows. “I love you, Yonggie. I love you so much. You’ll never bother me, ever”

Now Johnny understood why Taeyong wanted to take control in bed, barely letting him do something. He didn’t want him to take advantage of him and use him like a toy like the other jerk had done. Not like he’d ever do so, not to his Yonggie.

“John?” Johnny looked up at him with his honey eyes. “I love you. I really do. At first I… I was scared you’d be like him. But you weren’t. You waited and… and you didn’t pressure me to do anything I didn’t want to. I know it must have been hard to wait for a year but...”

“I would have waited longer if you had needed it” Johnny felt the need to clarify.

“I just… Fuck, thank you. Thank you for loving me so much, thank you for being with me all this time. Just… I love you, I really, really do. I don’t ever want to lose you”

“Neither do I, sweetheart. You’re way too precious for me”

“No one has… ever loved me so much” Taeyong confessed, a touch of grief covering his eyes. “I thought I was just unlovable...”

“Don’t think like that, baby” Johnny reproached softly. “People are assholes, you’re not the bad one. Society is the one who’s fucked up, not you. Damn, I would have totally bought it if someone told me you were a Greek God when I first met you” Taeyong giggled and Johnny felt, again, proud of himself for that. “What? I’m serious!”

“You’re such a dork” And Taeyong kissed his lips. “An idiot” Then he kissed his nose. “A dummy” A kiss to Johnny’s forehead. “But you’re my dork, my idiot and my dummy”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way”

Johnny couldn’t remember a night where he held Taeyong tighter than that one. If he didn’t plan on letting him go before, now he thought that way even less. Johnny fell asleep after Taeyong, stroking his (now brown) hair and murmuring words of affection, although he already knew very well that his boyfriend couldn’t hear him. Taeyong looked so peaceful, content, and he liked to think that he made him feel loved. He wasn’t going to be an imbecile, he was going to love Taeyong like he deserved, to treasure every little moment with him and treat him like the treasure he was.

That was why that night, when they went out to have dinner at a restaurant with their friends for Christmas, in the middle of the first course, while his steak was getting cold, Johnny knelt in front of Taeyong and took out a box. A small one made out of blue velvet. His friends, mainly Yuta and Jaehyun, cheered him up, shouted things like “Go get it, John!”, some even whistled, attracting the attention of the rest of the restaurant. All those eyes fixed on him made Taeyong’s heart speed up and made him feel dizzy, the drops of sweat trickling down his forehead and temples, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. He just waited for Johnny to speak his mind.

“Lee Taeyong, hopefully now Seo Taeyong, I know you felt unlovable. I know you felt useless, I know you felt ugly a lot of times. I know you need someone to be there for you, take care of you, we all do. I also need someone that laughs at my stupid jokes, someone I feel proud making smile, someone I think it’s worthy. Someone that makes me feel special, someone that makes me do stuff I normally wouldn’t do without making me feel embarrassed. I love you, I really do. Remember when we first met? Yeah, I was also on the floor that time. We could say I ‘fell for you’” And Taeyong chuckled at that comment. “Two years and a half. We’ve had our lows, our bad days, but fuck, you’ve made every single one of those days feel worth it, you made me feel like I wasn’t wasting my time. I appreciate you, I love you, I fucking adore you so much, and for that I would like to know if… You would want to marry me?”

The answer came in the form of an embrace that almost made him lose his balance and fall to the ground.

“You really think I would say no to that? You’re such an idiot!”

Taeyong also looked beautiful with tears of happiness running down his face, and Johnny was sure that he would also look like that when he gave him the “Yes, I do”. When he saw him dressed in a tuxedo, when he looked down at the ring in his index finger with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

(Needless to say, he was right).

  


**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever not write fluff? The answer is no


End file.
